Wednesday, May 18, 2005

If only I could see

I can't believe that I am going to spill my guts out on the internet. But I need some other creative outlet at the moment. I won't go too far...I can honestly say, as torturous as creativity can be sometimes, I'm so very greatful to it. At times, I feel closest to God when I feel creative. Other times, I feel like the very mystery of life has decided to push me out and call me unworthy of it's secrets. I suddenly stopped writing alltogether. My entire lifestyle changed--which needed to-- and it left me without a desire to do much of anything creative, let alone write. I used to love it. I would write the wackiest stories in emails and send them to my friends. I would use anything to spur a good word or two. Then suddenly, I stopped. I found it time consuming and I was blocked. I will admit, this blog was inspired by a friends writing of a similar flavor. I used to write songs too. What musician doesn't? But that too was dry and bitter. I had nothing to write about. Or at least I thought. Most of my songs were cries from my heart from the pain I had been dealt growing up. And then the pain stopped. What's more is that I felt a sense of pause in every avenue of my world. Where does ones sense of adventure disapear to when those things happen? But I needed the time to heal. And I feel there's a great deal still healing. But I think it's time to open it up a little and start again. This time, however, I will dedicate these blogs to the telling of stories through words. I'll save the songs for the most amazing, passionate band that I have the privilege of being in, Enation. With that, I'll leave you. It's the beginning of a world of mysteries untold. For a little while, I'll share stories with those who wish to read....until my identity from this public has to be withdrawn. Until then...let us begin...